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Saturday, November 26, 2011

HELP! My Partner Is Negative And Does Not Want To Raise Their Vibration



QUESTION: What do you do if your partner is a negative person and you are on your path to raising your vibration? I have been with my husband for 29 years now since we were teenagers, I have always accepted him as he is unconditionally loving. He is very quick tempered, even to the point of swearing and yelling when the traffic lights change when we approach. But I am worried that his negative aspects will slow me down, I love him deeply, and he is fully supportive of my endeavors to reach my full potential spiritually, we are like yin and yang. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
ANSWER: His negative aspects can not slow you down unless you allow them to. To be honest with you, if your husband is unconditionally loving and supportive of you and your spiritual path....then you have a real gem.

Oftentimes, this is not the case for many marriages because one of the partners may be filled with negative distorted beliefs from their religious upbringing, and they may be fearful of their partner practicing anything that is out of the realm of their preconceived ideas of who and what God/Goddess is. In these cases the partner may become controlling and violate the free will of the other soul, and this is highly problematic and will create great karma for the person who is trying to dominate and manipulate the other soul into doing what they want them to do. And oftentimes, people will willingly give their free will away to the controlling energy ~ therefore, sacrificing their soul’s desire to evolve. This is a repetitive pattern in many relationships and one that both souls will need to learn from. It is inappropriate to take some one’s free will to choose away from another soul, and it is also inappropriate for a soul to become so weak and attached to the other soul to the point that they will loose themselves and follow the direction and will of the other person because they are fearful of being alone. This is not a loving relationship....this is a relationship based on attachment, domination, control and fear.......usually these kind of relationships will be extremely unhappy....perhaps even abusive..... and oftentimes they will eventually dissolve. Likewise, for those of us raising our vibrations and choosing to follow the spiritual path....we too can not be controlling and take the free will of another soul away from them when their soul truly may want to experience the consequences of egoic learning ~ cause and effect (karma) ~ for an extended period of time. 

The best way we can help others get on the spiritual path, which is the healing path, is to “BE THE EXAMPLE”. Simply by you shifting and changing your vibration, you will effect your close loved ones.........and that could go in either direction. The important thing for you to do is stay focused on the SELF.....stay focused on the inner path of your own salvation. Don’t get caught up in the spiritual path of other souls. That is actually a distraction the ego will use to keep you from advancing. It sounds like your husband is highly supportive and although he may be fully consumed in egoic behavioral patterns, recognize that you too had similar qualities at one time and just like you....eventually he will make the decision to shift and change as well....especially if you two choose to stay together. You can be a lighthouse for him ~ and likewise keep in mind....he will also be your mirror. He will show you things within your self you need to work on, as well as, things within your self you have overcome. You can share books with him, share your experiences and be the example for him, but be careful about pushing him onto the spiritual path before he is ready. The spiritual path requires dedication, constant awareness and the willingness to observe the self and transcend those behaviors that do not serve the highest good of all involved. If he is pushed onto the path before he is truly ready to commit it could backfire. 

Marriage is a serious soul contract. One where each partner will learn a lot of soul lessons that will either evolve or devolve their souls ~ depending on where their energy is focused ~ love or fear. The only time I would ever suggest anyone re-consider their marriage is if their partner is emotionally or physically abusive. In this case an abusive relationship serves no one, and actually lowers the vibration of the entire household greatly effecting all souls involved ~ including the pets, and especially the kids. Kids learn their behaviors by watching their parents ~ if there is abuse this is highly destructive to their soul's energy, and oftentimes, they will recreate and attract the same scenarios of abuse, drama and chaos in their lives because they will inherit the energetic patterns of distortion and beliefs within their energy fields that they were exposed to from their parents. These kind of destructive relationships also effect the vibration of the Earth....it is a vicious cycle that needs to be healed. 

10 comments:

  1. This post interests me because I am in a similar situation with my husband. However, he says he is jealous because I have more time to spend on spiritual development since he is our main breadwinner. We have been married 35 years,and while I have had a series of part-time jobs and solo business ventures, and I stayed home with our kids who are now adults, I have never found a way to earn a substantial income. Now I am writing a spiritual book which he frequently criticizes because he's afraid it's not going to sell very well. It's an ongoing challenge for me to stay focused and maintain my higher vibrations when he's constantly complaining that I'm not earning enough money and he thinks he's working himself into an early grave. I am trying hard not to let his negativity bring me down, but sometimes he succeeds in making me feel guilty, although I don't let the feeling stick for very long. I do share books and ideas with him, but he usually says he doesn't have TIME to meditate or read because he has to work!

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  2. Emily, stay focused on your book and your spiritual practice. I was tested all the way through writing my book.....almost gave up several times, but never did. Your husband always has time to meditate.....if he watches t.v. or talks on the phone when he is home.....he has time but he is not choosing to make the time. Perhaps you could tell him you will do what it takes to make sure he gets 20 minutes of meditation time even if it means you waking up early in the morning to make coffee for him or perhaps you could keep the house quite when he comes home for work to have quite time. Don't let him project his issues onto you.....likewise be careful of projecting your issues on to him. If he really wants to meditate he will make the time.

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  3. Thanks for your response. I'd say no, he doesn't really want to meditate. I do make breakfast while he prays in the morning, but I think his prayers are all addressing the many problems in the world. I have tried to convey the art of positive affirmation, but he doesn't get it. Oh well!

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  4. This so resonates with me and my upbringing thankyou.

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  5. Fantastic piece of work as always...... Blessings Michelle

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  6. I have a feeling many will relate to this ... I certainly did. Been with my husband for 24 years and he and I don't agree on our spiritual paths. What you shared here really hit home with me. They cannot lower our vibration unless we allow them to, and we must not allow ourselves to be deterred, or to "devolve" as you put it. This path DOES require dedication and constant awareness and the best thing we can do is - as you said - BE the example. Personally, I continue to walk my path, but have learned NOT to force it on him or even talk about it. We simply agree to disagree. At times, he seems to be more open to certain aspects, but overall, it's a "Love & Let Live" concept that I live by. =) Thanks so much for this article!

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  7. Sabrina: What do you characterize as "emotional abuse". Would that include lying, manipulation, mind games, deceit and lack of empathy (as in, can not feel at all for others?

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  8. Yes! Those would definitely be considered emotional abuse.

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  9. If you stay in a relationship where there is any kind of emotional abuse....then the mirror reflection is showing you that you do not value your self, and you are being emotionally abusive to your soul and inner child. When you decide to honor and love your self....the mirror will reflect back to you loving relationships because when we honor and love our self we choose relationships that are loving and make us feel good.

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  10. thank you all, this resonates deeply for me as well. our loved ones are only afraid... of being left behind, they battle feelings of inferiority as they witness the ascension of others. we must give credit and remind them of the role they play. we do not necessarily rise alone, oftentimes we are risen, by those who love us. they may have assisted you in some form, sometimes lovingly and oftentimes with great pain and suffering... let us join hands so that we can now reach out and gently, lovingly, and with great patience bring up with us... it is time to bring healing, to all... <3

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