QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR SELF WHEN IN A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE BY: SABRINA REBER

~ QUESTION ABOUT A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE ~

QUESTION: I have recently separated from a long term relationship with young children involved. I find myself torn between wanting to work things out ~ because it is the "right thing to do" ~ or releasing this relationship because it has become dysfunctional, unloving and we are unable to communicate. I do not feel comfortable moving forward with this relationship BUT I don’t know whether it is fear holding me back or whether I am supposed to be in this place to continue my soul lessons of awareness and unconditional love. I have become very aware of my ego of late, but can’t seem to set aside expectations and feelings of disappointment and frustration with this relationship in order to sustain it.

ANSWER: First of all, you can not continue to artificially sustain an unhealthy relationship. However, if you BOTH feel ~ from the depths of your hearts ~ that this relationship can be healed, then I would do everything possible to infuse it with a higher vibration, and transform it into a loving relationship where the entire family would benefit.

Here are a few questions to ask your self to help you make your decision.

1. Is this relationship a healthy, positive, respectful, loving, nurturing relationship I want my kids to witness as an example for "relationships" in their life when they get older? If not, can WE heal it or should it be released so all involved can attain their highest and best good.

2. Do I truly, truly love this person or is my love based on "attachment and fear" of what would happen if I let it go? Am I afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone, even though it does not serve me?

3. Is this relationship helping our souls EVOLVE out of ingrained behavioral patterns or are we REVOLVING with the same issues unable to grow from our current state of consciousness into a higher state of consciousness.

4. Does this relationship provide a safe ENERGY environment for us to raise our kids in. Home environments with a lot of negative, toxic psychic energy from fights, negative emotions, harmful behavioral patterns and negative thoughts attract "LIKE" energies and these energies contaminate our homes and our children's energy fields. Are we providing a safe, sacred space for our children to grow and evolve in?

5. Am I treating myself the way I want my partner to treat me? Do I respect, love and honor myself? Do I know of my worthiness.....if not, my lack of self love and inability to set loving boundaries with other people ~ in addition to, my allowance of their behavior will only continue to manifest more of the same. What changes do I need to make internally so my outer reflection reflects back to me what I truly desire?

6. What do I want? Will this relationship provide me with my heart felt soul's desire?

7. Does this relationship add to my "LIGHT" or deplete it?

These are tough questions, and they will require great effort on your part to answer them honestly. If you decide to remain in this relationship please understand BOTH of you will need to put forth a heightened level of energy, and be consciously aware of your behavioral patterns in order to make the changes necessary to transform this relationship. If you feel this relationship does not serve you ~ then set your self FREE. You have free will to choose what is for your highest and best good. You will open up doors for new relationships to come in where you can continue to learn lessons about acceptance and unconditional love in a more LOVING way.

~ Sabrina

ART BY: Vladimir Kush
http://vladimirkush.com/

HELP! My Partner Is Negative And Does Not Want To Raise Their Vibration

QUESTION: What do you do if your partner is a negative person and you are on your path to raising your vibration? I have been with my husband for 29 years now since we were teenagers, I have always accepted him as he is unconditionally loving. He is very quick tempered, even to the point of swearing and yelling when the traffic lights change when we approach. But I am worried that his negative aspects will slow me down, I love him deeply, and he is fully supportive of my endeavors to reach my full potential spiritually, we are like yin and yang. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

ANSWER: His negative aspects can not slow you down unless you allow them to. To be honest with you, if your husband is unconditionally loving and supportive of you and your spiritual path....then you have a real gem.

Oftentimes, this is not the case for many marriages because one of the partners may be filled with negative distorted beliefs from their religious upbringing, and they may be fearful of their partner practicing anything that is out of the realm of their preconceived ideas of who and what God/Goddess is. In these cases the partner may become controlling and violate the free will of the other soul, and this is highly problematic and will create great karma for the person who is trying to dominate and manipulate the other soul into doing what they want them to do. And oftentimes, people will willingly give their free will away to the controlling energy ~ therefore, sacrificing their soul’s desire to evolve. This is a repetitive pattern in many relationships and one that both souls will need to learn from. It is inappropriate to take some one’s free will to choose away from another soul, and it is also inappropriate for a soul to become so weak and attached to the other soul to the point that they will loose themselves and follow the direction and will of the other person because they are fearful of being alone. This is not a loving relationship....this is a relationship based on attachment, domination, control and fear.......usually these kind of relationships will be extremely unhappy....perhaps even abusive..... and oftentimes they will eventually dissolve. Likewise, for those of us raising our vibrations and choosing to follow the spiritual path....we too can not be controlling and take the free will of another soul away from them when their soul truly may want to experience the consequences of egoic learning ~ cause and effect (karma) ~ for an extended period of time. 

The best way we can help others get on the spiritual path, which is the healing path, is to “BE THE EXAMPLE”. Simply by you shifting and changing your vibration, you will effect your close loved ones.........and that could go in either direction. The important thing for you to do is stay focused on the SELF.....stay focused on the inner path of your own salvation. Don’t get caught up in the spiritual path of other souls. That is actually a distraction the ego will use to keep you from advancing. It sounds like your husband is highly supportive and although he may be fully consumed in egoic behavioral patterns, recognize that you too had similar qualities at one time and just like you....eventually he will make the decision to shift and change as well....especially if you two choose to stay together. You can be a lighthouse for him ~ and likewise keep in mind....he will also be your mirror. He will show you things within your self you need to work on, as well as, things within your self you have overcome. You can share books with him, share your experiences and be the example for him, but be careful about pushing him onto the spiritual path before he is ready. The spiritual path requires dedication, constant awareness and the willingness to observe the self and transcend those behaviors that do not serve the highest good of all involved. If he is pushed onto the path before he is truly ready to commit it could backfire. 

Marriage is a serious soul contract. One where each partner will learn a lot of soul lessons that will either evolve or devolve their souls ~ depending on where their energy is focused ~ love or fear. The only time I would ever suggest anyone re-consider their marriage is if their partner is emotionally or physically abusive. In this case an abusive relationship serves no one, and actually lowers the vibration of the entire household greatly effecting all souls involved ~ including the pets, and especially the kids. Kids learn their behaviors by watching their parents ~ if there is abuse this is highly destructive to their soul's energy, and oftentimes, they will recreate and attract the same scenarios of abuse, drama and chaos in their lives because they will inherit the energetic patterns of distortion and beliefs within their energy fields that they were exposed to from their parents. These kind of destructive relationships also effect the vibration of the Earth....it is a vicious cycle that needs to be healed.