QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR SELF WHEN IN A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE BY: SABRINA REBER

~ QUESTION ABOUT A DIFFICULT MARRIAGE ~

QUESTION: I have recently separated from a long term relationship with young children involved. I find myself torn between wanting to work things out ~ because it is the "right thing to do" ~ or releasing this relationship because it has become dysfunctional, unloving and we are unable to communicate. I do not feel comfortable moving forward with this relationship BUT I don’t know whether it is fear holding me back or whether I am supposed to be in this place to continue my soul lessons of awareness and unconditional love. I have become very aware of my ego of late, but can’t seem to set aside expectations and feelings of disappointment and frustration with this relationship in order to sustain it.

ANSWER: First of all, you can not continue to artificially sustain an unhealthy relationship. However, if you BOTH feel ~ from the depths of your hearts ~ that this relationship can be healed, then I would do everything possible to infuse it with a higher vibration, and transform it into a loving relationship where the entire family would benefit.

Here are a few questions to ask your self to help you make your decision.

1. Is this relationship a healthy, positive, respectful, loving, nurturing relationship I want my kids to witness as an example for "relationships" in their life when they get older? If not, can WE heal it or should it be released so all involved can attain their highest and best good.

2. Do I truly, truly love this person or is my love based on "attachment and fear" of what would happen if I let it go? Am I afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone, even though it does not serve me?

3. Is this relationship helping our souls EVOLVE out of ingrained behavioral patterns or are we REVOLVING with the same issues unable to grow from our current state of consciousness into a higher state of consciousness.

4. Does this relationship provide a safe ENERGY environment for us to raise our kids in. Home environments with a lot of negative, toxic psychic energy from fights, negative emotions, harmful behavioral patterns and negative thoughts attract "LIKE" energies and these energies contaminate our homes and our children's energy fields. Are we providing a safe, sacred space for our children to grow and evolve in?

5. Am I treating myself the way I want my partner to treat me? Do I respect, love and honor myself? Do I know of my worthiness.....if not, my lack of self love and inability to set loving boundaries with other people ~ in addition to, my allowance of their behavior will only continue to manifest more of the same. What changes do I need to make internally so my outer reflection reflects back to me what I truly desire?

6. What do I want? Will this relationship provide me with my heart felt soul's desire?

7. Does this relationship add to my "LIGHT" or deplete it?

These are tough questions, and they will require great effort on your part to answer them honestly. If you decide to remain in this relationship please understand BOTH of you will need to put forth a heightened level of energy, and be consciously aware of your behavioral patterns in order to make the changes necessary to transform this relationship. If you feel this relationship does not serve you ~ then set your self FREE. You have free will to choose what is for your highest and best good. You will open up doors for new relationships to come in where you can continue to learn lessons about acceptance and unconditional love in a more LOVING way.

~ Sabrina

ART BY: Vladimir Kush
http://vladimirkush.com/

HELP! My Partner Is Negative And Does Not Want To Raise Their Vibration

QUESTION: What do you do if your partner is a negative person and you are on your path to raising your vibration? I have been with my husband for 29 years now since we were teenagers, I have always accepted him as he is unconditionally loving. He is very quick tempered, even to the point of swearing and yelling when the traffic lights change when we approach. But I am worried that his negative aspects will slow me down, I love him deeply, and he is fully supportive of my endeavors to reach my full potential spiritually, we are like yin and yang. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

ANSWER: His negative aspects can not slow you down unless you allow them to. To be honest with you, if your husband is unconditionally loving and supportive of you and your spiritual path....then you have a real gem.

Oftentimes, this is not the case for many marriages because one of the partners may be filled with negative distorted beliefs from their religious upbringing, and they may be fearful of their partner practicing anything that is out of the realm of their preconceived ideas of who and what God/Goddess is. In these cases the partner may become controlling and violate the free will of the other soul, and this is highly problematic and will create great karma for the person who is trying to dominate and manipulate the other soul into doing what they want them to do. And oftentimes, people will willingly give their free will away to the controlling energy ~ therefore, sacrificing their soul’s desire to evolve. This is a repetitive pattern in many relationships and one that both souls will need to learn from. It is inappropriate to take some one’s free will to choose away from another soul, and it is also inappropriate for a soul to become so weak and attached to the other soul to the point that they will loose themselves and follow the direction and will of the other person because they are fearful of being alone. This is not a loving relationship....this is a relationship based on attachment, domination, control and fear.......usually these kind of relationships will be extremely unhappy....perhaps even abusive..... and oftentimes they will eventually dissolve. Likewise, for those of us raising our vibrations and choosing to follow the spiritual path....we too can not be controlling and take the free will of another soul away from them when their soul truly may want to experience the consequences of egoic learning ~ cause and effect (karma) ~ for an extended period of time. 

The best way we can help others get on the spiritual path, which is the healing path, is to “BE THE EXAMPLE”. Simply by you shifting and changing your vibration, you will effect your close loved ones.........and that could go in either direction. The important thing for you to do is stay focused on the SELF.....stay focused on the inner path of your own salvation. Don’t get caught up in the spiritual path of other souls. That is actually a distraction the ego will use to keep you from advancing. It sounds like your husband is highly supportive and although he may be fully consumed in egoic behavioral patterns, recognize that you too had similar qualities at one time and just like you....eventually he will make the decision to shift and change as well....especially if you two choose to stay together. You can be a lighthouse for him ~ and likewise keep in mind....he will also be your mirror. He will show you things within your self you need to work on, as well as, things within your self you have overcome. You can share books with him, share your experiences and be the example for him, but be careful about pushing him onto the spiritual path before he is ready. The spiritual path requires dedication, constant awareness and the willingness to observe the self and transcend those behaviors that do not serve the highest good of all involved. If he is pushed onto the path before he is truly ready to commit it could backfire. 

Marriage is a serious soul contract. One where each partner will learn a lot of soul lessons that will either evolve or devolve their souls ~ depending on where their energy is focused ~ love or fear. The only time I would ever suggest anyone re-consider their marriage is if their partner is emotionally or physically abusive. In this case an abusive relationship serves no one, and actually lowers the vibration of the entire household greatly effecting all souls involved ~ including the pets, and especially the kids. Kids learn their behaviors by watching their parents ~ if there is abuse this is highly destructive to their soul's energy, and oftentimes, they will recreate and attract the same scenarios of abuse, drama and chaos in their lives because they will inherit the energetic patterns of distortion and beliefs within their energy fields that they were exposed to from their parents. These kind of destructive relationships also effect the vibration of the Earth....it is a vicious cycle that needs to be healed. 

Question About Relationships And Spiritual Growth

QUESTION: Do you have any tips or advice etc on the best way to stay focused, positive and keep moving forward when the person you love and have a child with isn't there and can sometimes be negative and angry? I understand we are at all different stages of our growth but can 2 people be together happily if one is desperate to accelerate and the other is scared and maybe not ready? I have been trying to just keep going with my journey and send him lots of love and light.

ANSWER: Yes, it is very possible for you to stay together IF the relationship is based on LOVE and TRUST and not attachment and control. This is a very common dilemma for many people. One person will begin the spiritual path and the other may not be ready or may be full of fear and distorted beliefs. Remember the spiritual path is the healing path so in order to advance spiritually we have to face the inner distortions ~ mainly the unprocessed emotions and feelings, negative beliefs, egoic behavioral patterns and karma (unbalanced energy) ~ within our energy fields. Although your soul may be ready to bring your self into balance, for many people, the comforts of denial will keep them from healing. The thought of actually having to take responsibility for their inner workings may be to much for them to handle and they will refuse to participate in any kind of spiritual practice because when we finally decide to FACE GOD we have to face OUR SELVES. The important thing is for you to stay committed to your healing journey no matter what ~ and you will be tested in your commitment. Oftentimes, when we begin to heal and transcend the negative behavioral patterns within us one of two things will occur ~ you will become an example for them...a beacon of light where they decide they too want to create more love, joy and happiness for themselves OR they may get scared that you are changing to rapidly and they may be fearful of loosing you (the old you) so they will try to stop your growth and keep you exactly the way you are.....because if they keep you the same, then they don’t have to change either. Having said that....I think it is important to look at your relationship in the past tense....has it been a loving relationship? Is this person possessive and controlling or will they be able to allow you to follow your heart? Your past will show you a lot about the future of your relationship. In addition, you will need to be very careful yourself about not pushing the other person onto the spiritual path. The best way for us to teach is by example. Honor and respect their right to choose. By you simply aligning yourself with Spirit, you will shift your vibration and you will effect everyone you come in contact with....especially the family members in your household. When you raise your frequency, you raise the vibration of the house and it is impossible for them to not be affected by your positive energy. Oftentimes, simply through vibrational resonance, they will begin to shift...especially if you are sleeping next to the person at night. You can also ask your guides and angels to please work with your partners spiritual team in raising their vibration for THEIR highest and best good....remember you DO NOT know what is for their highest and best good, but their spiritual teams and Spirit do ~ ask for their help. Also don’t be attached to the relationship and their spiritual growth....stay focused on yours. Also, be aware that as you climb the mountain of self, raising your vibrations you will be put in situations to prove that you can hold your light and that you are willing to release the old behaviors that no longer serve you. Usually, these interactions will occur within our families....especially through our kids and partners. We are learning how to master ourselves. You are with your partner for a reason. As long as the relationship is loving (not perfect), and the other person honors your free will right to choose ~ and you honor their free will right to choose ~ then it is very possible this relationship can be a catalyst for tremendous soul growth and advancement for both of you. It may be a little rocky in the beginning as you begin to re-birth your self, but it is totally doable. If the relationship begins to exhaust your energy, becomes abusive, domineering or begins to halt your growth then you may need to make some adjustments. You may even need to learn how to stand up for your self in a balanced loving manner, learn how to speak your truth with words of love, learn how to express your feelings and also learn how to make sure your needs are met. Only you can choose to do what is best for you and your family. Just make sure you keep your self on the upward spiral of soul ascension....face your problems, fears, distortions, attachments and distorted beliefs. If the relationship is meant to be then it will remain...if it needs to be released ~ you will know. Ask for guidance from Spirit in all things that you do, and then be still and “listen”. Many Blessings, Sabrina

Art By: Autumn Skye Morrison "BELOVED" http://www.autumnskyemorrison.com/paintings/beloved.html

Marriage as a Soul Contract

Marriage is part of human conditioning, it's not something God created; humanity created it as part of the program and it is an OPTION ~ not something we have to do to evolve, as there are many ways to advance our soul. Having said that, humanity has created marriage as a legal agreement and a "vow" we make to each other... in front of God, and our family and friends. It's a major "Soul Contract" based on love and fear (control). It's one of those dualistic programs we have created that more times than not....doesn't work ~ but certainly teaches us a lot of soul lessons. Once the contract is made it is a wonderful opportunity for us to learn about love, fear, control, sharing, honesty, sexual energy, respect, boundaries, relationships, staying true to ourselves, the balance of giving and receiving, commitment, the creation of offspring and death. However, soul contracts do change and evolve....once we learn specific lessons with another soul, we raise our energetic frequency, we expand our consciousness and move on to more advanced lessons. Other souls in our contracted groups may not want to move forward with us and evolve.....we then have a choice whether we want to stay in the contracted relationship or not. If we choose to move on, and dissolve the contract, then we need to do so with integrity and consideration for all involved so we don't misqualify any energy. Sex with another partner ~ when we are married ~ will create all kinds of misqualified energy, karma and negativity.......it's not for anyones highest good. The marriage should be in the process of being dissolved before we embark on a sacred, physical and energetic exchange with another soul. You also don't have to be "married" to enjoy sex. Sex is not about procreation, sex is about union and experiencing the oneness between two people (regardless of 3D gender) and the divine energy of Spirit that is downloaded during the event of an orgasm.....♥ Spiritual energy is orgasmic. Be Blesssed ♥ Sabrina

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